By: Kamala Poudel

Mental health and wellbeing affect everything; they impact education, economic independence and independent living. They are essential to a self-determined life.

My name is Kamala Poudel. I am a community health worker in Kathmandu Nepal. I provide mental health services for survivors of sex trafficking, domestic violence and homelessness. I have a passion for serving these communities as I too have been trafficked and suffered from psychological illnesses since a young age. Now in my forties, my own journey through crisis to stability informs my work and motivates me to keep sharing my story and supporting women who have experienced trauma and who struggle with mental illness.

When I was five years old, my step father sold me to a brothel house in India. At ten years old, I ran away and had to fend for myself on the streets. Like many homeless and orphaned children, I picked up odd jobs cooking and cleaning in roadside eateries, doctor’s clinics, hospitals, and small missionary churches. With my mental health challenges, I found it hard to remain employed very long at any single place. I even lost my dream job as a tourist guide in Kathmandu. When I lost that job, I became very depressed and began to doubt myself, my capabilities and, worst of all, people around me. Things went from bad to worse when the police accused me of a crime I did not commit and imprisoned me, without due process, in Kathmandu central prison. I stayed there for ten years; an experience that exacerbated my trauma and mental health challenges.

Upon my release from prison, I found myself back on the streets and very vulnerable. This is where KOSHISH, the national mental health self-help organization I currently work with found me. They helped me get treatment for my trauma and mental illness. More importantly, they connected me with other people who shared my lived experience. Slowly, I opened up and started sharing my feelings with the staff and other beneficiaries at the emergency care service center. My health improved and I started engaging in activities at the center and, with counseling, my depression lessened and I felt more positive. With no home or family to return to, I stayed at the KOSHISH recovery center. As I saw women like me come to the center, I started to want to help them and I began working as a care giver (community health worker) at the center. Over time, I have served as a peer counselor as well as a community educator. I have had the benefit of caring for people one-on-one and sharing my experience and knowledge with entire communities. Currently, I am serving as a program officer for KOSHISH. My job entails education, awareness and sensitization of individuals with mental illness, communities, local government bodies and fellow NGOs across Nepal, including United Nations agencies.

My work as a caregiver and educator gives me purpose. I help run peer support groups and webinars to help women cope with trauma and support them in gaining employment or at least income so they can support themselves. It is rewarding when I feel I am making a difference in someone’s life.

In Nepal, the stigma associated with being trafficked, raped, or homeless is substantial. Those who have families often find that their families are not willing to help them or welcome them back. Even with the support that peer counselors like myself provide at KOSHISH, some women continue to suffer.

My experience has taught me that building hope and enhancing skills are keys to healing. Without a sense of hope or new skills to build a better life, our clients end up back on the streets and their mental suffering is prolonged. 

Mental health and wellbeing begin in community, and that is where they are nurtured and grow. By educating communities about mental health, I hope to create safe spaces where people like myself cannot only live, but where we can thrive. One of KOSHISH’s goals is to work for the inclusion and meaningful participation of persons with psychosocial disabilities. Likewise, KOSHISH promotes self-advocacy in the spirit of “nothing about us without us.” I am living proof that this model works. Supporting others and promoting healthier, more accepting communities has enriched my life and has been an important factor in my own healing.

I want to conclude my story with a translation of a Nepali song sung by Kesar Nepali, a fellow beneficiary of KOSHISH. 

Don’t call me mad
I have feelings just as you
Don’t call me mad
I get hurt just as you
Don’t call me mad
I am scared just as you

Hope and acceptance are our path to healing. My call to action is that governments and communities include people with mental illness as part of the solution and provide spaces and support for us to craft healthier lives.